the kilmer cure (thekilmercure) wrote,
the kilmer cure
thekilmercure

  • Mood:

counterfeit


I’ve been giving a lot of though to the subject of passing. As euphemisms go, it’s fairly benign, but I hate it. As analogies go, it’s gross. What do we pass? The buck. Pass the buck. We pass money—counterfeit money. When you pass, it’s like saying you’re not genuine. Like being white, or straight, or sane—that’s genuine. And if you’re not that, you’re fake. You’re not real.

A still from 'Spartan'
A still from Spartan, my go-to film for Val looking handsomely pensive.

I want to be real.

A still from 'Thunderheart'
All my armor falling down.

Sometimes I don’t feel real. I feel empty, a shell full of sticky scratchy insulation—something manmade, mostly air. When what you are exists only as a counterpoint to the norm, it’s difficult to feel real.

Tags: passing
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