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30 May 2011 @ 04:24 am
the saint  

In 1997, Val made a film called The Saint. The movie was an adaptation of a series of novels by British author Leslie Charteris. Though I hadn’t heard of The Saint or its protagonist, Simon Templar, until I saw this movie, it’s very popular abroad; in addition to the novels, there have been many radio, film, television, and graphic interpretations of the books. Simon was even played by Roger Moore, who you probably know as Bond, James Bond.

A still from 'The Saint'
Long story short: The Saint is kind of a big deal.

Val plays the Saint himself, Simon Templar. Simon’s life of crime began early; he used his quick mind and his good hands to pick locks and filch extra food in the orphanage in which he was raised. Stealing is his only real talent—okay, stealing and romancing women are his only real talents, but the film is rated PG-13, so guess which one he does for a living.

A still from 'The Saint'
Simon and his hilarious mini-camera, doing a little pre-stealing legwork.

Simon’s got a fun job, a plush bank account, and women love him; life should be peachy. But he’s also got a problem. The saints.

A still from 'The Saint'
Simon as Martin de Porres, in one of his many manwigs. *
* Val hired a wigmaker for this movie. The wigmaker lived with him on the set of the film he was shooting previously, The Ghost and the Darkness. Please imagine: Val Kilmer, a wigmaker, and a dialect coach, living in a hut on a game preserve in Africa. If this doesn’t delight you, I’m not sure we can be friends.

Simon’s job is highly illegal and usually not terribly subtle, so instead of going around as himself, he uses a myriad of disguises, all named and modeled after Catholic saints. The trouble is, he never seems to have the occasion to be himself. He is always somebody else.

A still from 'The Saint'
Simon and his Thomas More wig. He sees the problem here, too.

What Simon really needs is a shrink, but in the film he settles for Elisabeth Shue as a nuclear physicist—no, really—a person with whom he can finally be himself.

A still from 'The Saint'
See? Look how happy regular, unwigged Simon is.

 
 
current mood: amusedamused
 
 
 
Alex: Cameron bedjuliet42 on May 30th, 2011 04:39 am (UTC)
I am completely unfocused, so nothing constructive to say except that I definitely appreciated the distraction this post provided, and may have laughed at the visualization you offered.
the kilmer curethekilmercure on June 1st, 2011 06:39 pm (UTC)

<3

Hidden Willowhiddenw on May 31st, 2011 11:44 pm (UTC)
Gah. When he's disguised as that one guy - you know the one - I got so much second hand embarrassment.
the kilmer cure: this shit is fucking stressfulthekilmercure on June 1st, 2011 06:39 pm (UTC)

Ugh, yes, I know exactly what you mean.